Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake

Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 bottle Vodka
1 can of red bull
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little red bull & drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it’s best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK. Flavour with red bull to taste. Try another cup…. just in case turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a screwscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity - flavour with a little Bed Rull.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder.

Pick up the can, mop the floor.

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or whatever you can find.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and fall into bed.

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